Another rejection! But the editor seemed so genuinely interested at the conference. I was sure this would finally be a start to getting published. I tossed the letter on my growing pile and headed out for a walk.
Should I have taken more time with the proposal? Did I send it too early: maybe I should have taken more time to see what was selling? I really would have loved to go to another conference to meet more agents and editors, but with all our bills piling up, how could I justify it? Would it have helped anyway? But I’d spent so many years writing and learning my craft, I hated to simply cash in at that point.
Questions twirled around in my head. I added my rejection to the smorgasbord of stresses already on my mind. My face flushed from my blood pressure climbing through the roof.
I wandered down the road and zipped up my windbreaker against the wind. Leaves rolled across my path and a chill spread down my back. The dark grey lake about a couple of miles away and below me was spotted with whitecaps. Bluish grey clouds billowed above the mountains. The blustery day suited my mood.
But the words of my daily devotional that morning came to mind.
“There is a part of the sea known as “the cushion of the sea.” It lies beneath the surface that is agitated by the storms and churned by the wind. It is so deep that it is a part of the sea that is never stirred. When the ocean floor in these deep places is dredged of the remains of plant or animal life, it reveals evidence of having remained completely undisturbed for hundreds, if not thousands, of years. The peace of God is an eternal calm, like the cushion of the sea. It lies so deeply within the human heart that no external difficulty or disturbance can reach it. And anyone who enters the presence of God becomes a partaker of that undisturbed calm.” –Streams in the Desert by L.B. Cowman
I smiled. I was as if God wrote that just for me that day. Such a timely devotion on the day of my rejection, and stormy weather to remind me of my devotional’s words.
How many times had God already reminded this slow learner that he was and still is sovereign and holding the reins of my life? He’d been loyal and trustworthy in the past, so why did I always have to fuss and lose sleep over my problems?
So often I prayed, “Oh Lord what shall I do?” when I should have prayed, “Oh Lord, what are you going to do?” When that shift happened, it was much easier to settle back and wait expectantly. That didn’t mean I could merely stop and let him take over, it meant that I had to provide the ‘legs’ and he would steer.
That morning my devotional was just what I needed. Sometimes though, a friend can offer words of comfort, or a perfect flower can show me how ingenious He is.
Or, (this was really good) he can use the radio to get through to me!
One day when I was driving home, particularly blue and sulky, I called out to Him as I turned on the radio. Simon and Garfunkel’s song, Bridge Over Troubled Waters came on. I lay back in my seat, trying to assess whether that was just coincidence. I turned the radio off and stubbornly accused Him of not being there when I really needed Him at times. I sulked again for a bit, but turned back on the radio, curious whether He would attempt to get through to me again. It played Ann Murray’s song “You Won’t See Me, with words “Time and time again, you refuse to listen…”
“Okay! You win!” I declared laughing. So apparently God is a disc jockey too.
God continually amazes me with his sense of humor and his ingenuity in getting through to us. So what ways has God used to get through to you?