Category Archives: abstinence
Merriam-Webster (m-w.com) defines “waiting” like this:
- to remain stationary in readiness or expectation
- to look forward expectantly
- to hold back expectantly
Basically, no one likes waiting. Whether it be in a slow moving line at the convenience store or a mile-long line at a favorite restaurant, we have better things to do than while away the minutes—or hours—simply waiting. Waiting for Christmas morning to open those interestingly shaped presents feels like torture. The wait for school to be out and summer to begin drags on forever. Even waiting for dinner to be ready can be trying.
Waiting gets a bad rap most of the time. But some things are worth waiting for. Some things are so good, so unbelievably awesome that the wait is worth it no matter how long it takes. Sex is one of those worth-waiting-for things.
Some of you haven’t given much thought to the idea of waiting or not waiting when it comes to sex. It may or may not happen. You’ll make the decision if and when the opportunity presents itself. When the time’s right, you’ll know it—you hope.
Some of you are anxious to get the first time over–to remove the label ‘virgin’ from your resume and replace it with ‘experienced’ or ‘mature’ or ‘grown-up’. Because everyone says it’s better to be experienced, right?
Some of you are committed to saving yourself for marriage. You are waiting expectantly for your wedding night. You’re holding back the emotions and urges and hormones that nudge—maybe even push or shove–you toward sex.
Some of you didn’t wait for a ceremony or a license to engage in the intimacy of sex. Maybe you made a hasty decision. Or maybe you thought about it for a long time. Some of you regret your decision. Some of you don’t.
One thing is for sure: waiting to have sex is tough. Pressure to not wait is everywhere. TV and movies paint sleeping around as the cool thing. Friends are having sex, so why not you, too? And, if you’re in a committed relationship, the temptation to just do it can be overwhelming.
Before you make a decision that you can’t undo, step back and take a deep breath. Think about all the things you won’t have to worry about if you WAIT for sex. Like pregnancy and STD’s. I know what you’re going to say—birth control and condoms will protect me. Maybe. But the only 100% foolproof birth control is ABSTINENCE, and condoms only make sex somewhat ‘safer’ not completely safe.
And then there’s the whole emotional aspect. Sex is so much more than the joining of two bodies. The feelings, the emotions involved in giving yourself so completely to another person will bond you to that person—whether you want it to or not. Because that’s what sex is supposed to do. No condom or form of birth control will protect your heart if and when that connection is ripped apart.
If you already didn’t wait, it’s not too late to stop being sexually active and WAIT. Don’t let your past make your future decisions. Don’t let friends or that special guy or gal make the call. You be the one to decide what’s best for you. Take some time to think about where you’re at and where you’re headed.
Choosing abstinence or ‘renewed abstinence’ says you believe sex is worth waiting for.
Check out the blog “Waiting Matters… Because YOU Matter” for the continuing series on the WHO, WHAT, WHEN, WHERE, HOW and WHY of saving sex for marriage.
Is or was waiting important to you? Why or Why not?