Okay me, listen up, and listen real good. You’re fifteen and things will not be very good for you. I know Dad left us, and he will be in and out of our life for a while. The bad news, its about to get worse. Let me give it to you straight, for the next three year you are about to go through the darkest part of your entire life. You have no resources to get through this and nothing you have experienced has prepared you. There is good news. I’m living proof you’ll survive and flourish because you will ultimately make good choices. You will struggle with a lot of baggage for a good long time, so here is what you need to know to get on to the good things.
ABOUT YOUR SO-CALLED FRIENDS.
You and I both know how much you crave the affirmation of people, someone will create the term “affirmation junkie” in about thirty years. You’ll know they’re talking about you once you hear it. Compromising what your very bones know is true and correct will never accomplish anything good. So when you do what is right, and you know that it’s right, don’t second guess yourself and eat yourself alive with the “I should’a done…” Even if you lose friends over it, don’t worry. The friends you lost weren’t much in the way of friends anyway.
FAMILY PROBLEMS
About your dad’s alcoholism, you need to find someone to talk about it with, and not your friends. You need someone who isn’t close to you, but someone you can say anything too and is mature enough to listen without giving advice. This needs to be someone other than Mom or your brothers and sister. It’s not that you can’t talk to your family about it, but they all suffer from the same blind spots you do. For the record, not drinking alcohol will serve you well the rest of your life.
YOUR MOM DIDN’T ALWAYS KNOW BEST
Your dad will do a lot of stupid, selfish and mean things to you and Mom. It’s alright to be angry with him, but just remember, Mom is as much a part of the problem as Dad’s drinking problem. This will be hard for you to understand, and it will take a long time for you to figure it out. People can be really good at enabling bad behavior in others. It doesn’t make them evil or bad, it makes them human and blind to their own problems. Everything wasn’t all your Dad’s fault.
THE OPPOSITE SEX
You worry too much about the opposite sex. I know about all junk music and movies push onto you, but learning how to be a good friend will make your life so much simpler. You should be inviting more people to come horseback riding with you instead of riding by yourself, especially because your sister’s horse doesn’t get enough exercise anymore. While your at it, you have a kind streak in you, cultivate it. Be someone people want to hang around for all the right reasons and make sure you spend all your time around people that make you a better person. Learn to be kind and you will find the best girls will consider you attractive.
ENJOY YOUR HORSES FOR AS LONG AS YOU CAN.
Spend as much time as you can with your horses. They will give you so much more than you’re capable of understanding right now. In fact, it will take almost all of your life to realize just how much they gave you. You will learn confidence, and they will help you to value responsibility for the things you need to be responsible for, and ignore things that you don’t need even need to concern yourself with. Best of all, they will teach you how to tell the difference. Once you get rid of them, you will miss them for the rest of your life.
GOD DOESN’T MIND IF YOU LIKE SCIENCE FICTION AND FANTASY.
You’ll go to Bible College and they will nearly talk you out of enjoying fiction, especially science-fiction and fantasy. Thanks to them it will be twenty years before you pick up any of the kind of fiction you enjoy. Those people were idiots, don’t listen to them. I understand that some people have stumbling blocks in their lives, and need to get rid of them. Just because some people stumble over fiction doesn’t mean you will. In fact, you will learn that it makes your relationship with Christ enjoyable. Be kind to the Pharisees and don’t argue with them. Just get on with your life.
The Scriblerians 
Wow, Tim. you had a tumultuous childhood! But God has molded you into the caring and sensitive person you are today. He never wastes a hurt!
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Tim, I love your story and how the difficult times taught you so many great lessons.
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what they really taught me is that “bad choices” suck. IF the people in your life make a bad choice, it won’t just suck for them, it will suck for you. Had it not been for three people, I would have become an alcoholic. It’s not enough to have lemons to make lemonade. People get down on the prosperity gospel, whatever that is, but those people taught some important truths that transformed me in a good way. One of my favorites, God always gives you a choice, choose well. If you don’t know what to choose? Ask.
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When trying to decide on a college, I considered a highly-conservative one that was close to home (it would have saved on living expenses). But the choice was easy when I learned they had rules against secular movies and contemporary/alternative Christian music. No way was I going to miss the Star Wars prequels and LOTR movies when they came to the theater. (Or give up listening to DC Talk.)
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I’m so glad you addressed alcoholism and the dysfunctional family. Those of us who have lived around alcoholism tend either to constantly seek everyone’s approval or to rebel to extremes. And you turned out all right, Tim! I hope teenagers read this post.
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I have my issues but I will give credit to Jesus Christ and a radical relationship with the Holy Spirit.
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