Memorial Day: Remembering the Ugly


Do you remember your history concerning the 1960’s and 70’s? Flower children. Sit-ins. Protests against the war. The “conflict” that was Vietnam.
My little Lutheran college was not immune.

vietnam war memorial100400446

The year was 1972. I was a freshman, the daughter of an Air Force pilot who had flown in Vietnam. I’ll never forget the day a fellow student — six-foot-five, three hundred pounds, intimidating — found out about my dad.
“So your father incinerated gooks?” His sneer was unmistakable.
“No…” My voice faltered. “It wasn’t like that. His targets were railroads… and airports.”
“So he killed gooks.”
I tried to hold back angry tears. “You don’t know my father. He doesn’t think anyone is a gook.”
A guy who was standing in the crowd that had grown around us came to my rescue. “Leave her alone, Fred.”
As one, the group stepped between me and Fred, and Fred got the message, muttering epithets as he lumbered out of the room. To this day, I can’t read any books, novel or nonfiction, on the topic of Vietnam, kind of a miniature PTSD reaction to the vitriol that spewed from so many mouths of that era.

Yet, I was fortunate. In those years, many people like me didn’t always have friends who would defend them. Soldiers came home and were spit upon.
When my son was deployed to Iraq in the first weeks of the war, he worried that his soldiers would receive similar treatment. He wrote to ask me what the mood of the nation was. What a relief to respond with reassurances. The nation stood behind the troops, cheered them on.

cemetery 2

Now that we’ve been mired in Afghanistan and Iraq for years, the mood isn’t quite as patriotic, but I thank God, we have not returned to the scorn and hate of half a century ago. We recognize the sacrifices our soldiers, sailors, and airmen make, willing to lay down their lives.

There is the ideal of going to war for a worthy cause. There is the reality of the horrors involved in every war, righteous or not. And there are the ugly politics of war, when the worthy cause gets twisted by those with other agendas. We live in a fallen world.

Memorial Day cemetery

Memorial Day should never be about the ugly. May we always honor those who lost their lives serving our nation.


4 thoughts on “Memorial Day: Remembering the Ugly

  1. I grew up in a military family (we still are in most ways) so it’s difficult for me to imagine encountering that kind of mindset. My father-in-law fought in Vietnam – he was a helicopter mechanic who got shot in the stomach during a rescue mission. Struggled with Hep-C, IBS and PTSD for the rest of his life until pancreatic cancer claimed it three years ago. And he wouldn’t allow us to display his purple heart or any of his medals. Our nation failed those soldiers and I’m glad we do a better job appreciating and respecting them now. I remember being at the airport a few months ago when a group of soldiers came off a plane in uniform, returning from deployment, and the entire terminal stood to applaud them. I nearly cried.


    • Thank you for sharing your father-in-law’s story. There is a special place in my heart for helicopter pilots. They’re sitting ducks, and they fly into enemy fire to rescue the wounded.
      Once my son came home from Iraq, he was amazed at how many people thanked him for his service, paid his restaurant bill, etc. That goes a long way to heal emotional wounds.
      And do you play the videos of moms and dads who come home and surprise their kids at schools and ball games? My dad did that to me. When summer camp was finished, he was there to greet me. I had no idea! The next thing I knew, I was in his arms. Tears flow every time I watch another kid get to have the same beautiful experience.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Those videos are guaranteed tear-jerkers!! I hope military families appreciate the technology that keeps them closer together. When my dad was in Saudi, we got to speak to him for 15 minutes once a month! 5 kids and my mom trying to share a 15 minute phone call – it sucked! But at least we had that compared to the earlier decades when calls weren’t an option at all.


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