I can do it myself!

2015-10-25 11.54.49

The sun is shining on me,
a cool drink is at my side,
and an open book on my lap–
what more could I want?

As I sit here my mind switches gears.
Part of being on this vacation is preparing myself for a busy year:
Meal plans.
Kid schedules.
Exercise regimes.
Diet plans.
Blog rebuilding.
Word counts.

My pulse quickens at the thought,
and a headache percolates behind my left ear.
So much stuff,
but I have to plan it now.
I have to gain control.

If I can control it all,
than everything will be perfect.

My mouth falls open,
and my eyes widen a bit…

What did I just say?

The logical part of my brain answers.

Easy.
You just stated if you could control everything,
peace would reign.
Life wouldn’t be as hard.

Instantly my perfect “Christian-I-show-in-public” side chimes in.

Of course not!
God should control everything.
That is the only way to peace.
Even children know that.

*hums “Peace like a River”*

I want to dismiss it.
Quickly.
Before I have time to analyse it any more.

Too late.

My mind is already unfolding my thought,
with trembling fingers.

It is with reluctance that I read the writing on the page:

You do not trust Me.

Of course I do.

No, you won’t give Me everything.

Well, there are some things that are best managed by me…

Trust Me.

But…

Trust.

But…how?

Just give it to Me. And trust.

So I close my eyes.
Focus on the sun warming my legs.
Cool drink by my side.
Sound of waves on the beach.
And pray for the strength to give all my plans to the Lord…

and gain His peace.

I know that it is a conversation I will have over and over again…
but that is OK.

Is there anything you really struggle to give to God? Let us keep each other accountable! Share your struggles in the comment section. And if you enjoy the posts on this site be sure to like and click the follow button on the right hand side. Thanks!

Karen deBlieck

Karen deBlieck

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9 thoughts on “I can do it myself!

  1. Good reminder Karen, and just what I needed today. Thanks!

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  2. As a “fixer”, I tend to hold tightly to things I need to let go. I will say I’m getting better at just letting GOD be GOD and not thinking I have to figure it all out. It can be scary but ultimately, I’d much rather HE be in control than me!

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  3. Yup, waiting is hard for me. I do give it up, but then I think that I have a solution before God has a chance to work it out.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I’m learning daily just how much of a control freak I am prone to be. Financial worries, my daughter’s education, even driving on snowy roads. Recently to the point of anxiety that is building until I’m starting to think I’ll be giving myself ulcers soon. Taking supplements, vitamins and tea to try to calm myself down. Nonstop praying and attempting to give it to Him. And trust. So needless to say, this post speaks directly to something I am currently battling. Thank you for sharing it.

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  5. So well said, Karen. You’ve nailed it for me and probably many others. It’s nice to know we’re not alone.

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