The Big Unpredictable Sky of Motherhood

If you think motherhood is easy, one of the following is probably true:

  1. you have a child still young enough to control
  2. you are not doing it right
  3. you have never been a mother
OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Courtesy of Morguefile.com Free Photos

As my husband and I sat talking with my daughter and her husband on our back porch under a magnificent Texas sky, I marveled at how much my relationship with my daughter had changed since ten years ago.

Back then, I’d only hoped and prayed that she and I would one day enjoy again the closeness we’d experienced before she reached her teen years.

To say the least, our relationship was stormy during most of high school and well past college. I’d get a glimpse of blue sky on occasion, but soon the clouds would gather again.

Still I believed that at any time her attitude toward me could change overnight, like the weather. I only needed to ride out the ugliness and wait for a beautiful sky to open up again, as it surely would.

If you’re a teenager reading this, try to give poor old mom a break now and then. As my daughter admitted after living as an adult on her own for a few years, mom winds up having been right about most things you fought with her so hard about.

If you are a mother who has raised an easy child, you were indeed blessed.

Readers, do you think you were an easy or a difficult child to raise? How about your own children?

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12 thoughts on “The Big Unpredictable Sky of Motherhood

  1. Easy child? I don’t think such people exist. 🙂

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  2. So far my daughter isn’t too difficult. We’ve had our moments but she is very sweet-natured and they don’t tend to late long. She is a tween, though, so we may be in the calm before the storm.

    As for myself, I think I was a mix. I was very obedient and responsible but as the eldest I was also bossy toward my siblings. I have a feeling I may have been more stressful to my mom than I suspected as she ran interference. 😉 I also remember going through the “don’t want to be seen with my parents in public” phase as an early teen. But I don’t remember ever having conflicts with either of my parents. My siblings and I would fight for alone-time with them, my first job was at the same company as my mom so we carpooled, in college I called them weekly. We were always fairly close but I’d say it was around the time of marriage and parenthood that changed our relationship to close friends.

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    • I too was the oldest child with responsibility for younger siblings. (A kid in that situation often has to be bossy.) I must’ve been easy for my parents because after I left home, they said they finally noticed how much I did for them.

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  3. The last two years of high school were painful.

    With my oldest (11 this month), she closes up at times and I can’t tell what is bothering her. As she gets older, I wonder how much more difficult it will be as I bumble through trying to relate.

    I read an article this year by a teen who didn’t rebel. She said the big difference was that her parents never expected her to. I wonder if by our culture assuming that children will, we are actually promoting it.

    Food for thought.

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    • I used to wonder about it being a self-fulfilling prophecy until my daughter reached her teens. I didn’t expect her to rebel, but she did. I’m not sure what my own parents expected.

      If kids only understood how much it hurts when they shut us out. 😦

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  4. My twenty-five year old, with whom we have a close relationship, recently confessed that there was a long spell in her teens when she “hated” her Dad. Though she and I did not fight, she became distant and it was very painful. My husband pushes our children, but it’s for important things that are in their best interest. Looking back now, I think it was that rough time that helped form her into the wonderful person she is today. We can laugh about it now, and she is even chiming in from time to time to help with our younger daughter who is 15.

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    • Don’t you love those confessions? Some things my daughter later told me about were a surprise, but many were not. It all helps young people grow in independence, but some of it is too upsetting for us to know about at the time.

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  5. I would have to say I was pretty easy. But then I was spending a lot of time with my mom and our horses. I hadn’t discovered boys (they didn’t have four legs so weren’t of any interest) My boys were also pretty easy, as we were mostly doing sports with them (I was the die-hard-up-at 5:00 am. hockey mom) and they were kept really busy. They really didn’t have much time to be hell-raisers. Of course there were times when they made bad choices with the wrong kind of friends, but they paid for it and we moved on. It is great now when we hear our words coming out of their mouths. I hear daughters are different and are much tougher through teen years though.

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    • Horses do seem to be a stabilizing factor in the lives of humans, from everything I’ve heard.

      Family members who’ve raised both a son and a daughter tell me their daughter was harder!

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  6. I would have to agree that daughters are harder to raise. As a daughter, my rebellion wasn’t “in your face,” but I kept my mom at arm’s length while remaining Daddy’s girl. That had to hurt.
    We had a couple of bumps in the road raising three sons, but they never shut me out, never acted embarrassed concerning my presence. I’m so grateful for that!

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