Respect in a Time of Change

It’s senior year, and Whitney Richards is tired of the constant pressures to be perfect. When she gets a D in Calculus, her mother immediately suggests a tutor, worried Whitney won’t get into the “right” college–her alma mater–with imperfect grades. That tutor turns out to be Taylor, a quiet mysterious boy who is unlike anyone Whitney has met before. But his rougher upbringing has her mother and friends discouraging any type of relationship.

Tired of having to play a part for everyone else, Whitney quits the cheeleading squad that once definced her social identity and begins spending more time with Taylor. Her mom and friends worry Whitney is making a huge mistake, and even Taylor begins to show concern for some of her choices. But for the first time, Whitney is in the driver’s seat of her life. Will she be able to find her identity–and God’s plan for her life–before she throws everything away?

*****

Clipston’s book explores what every teen goes through:
a need to find out who they are.
Although I had issues with the writing style (you can check out my review here),
I think much can be gleaned from this book.

There is a natural point where we don’t want to be a carbon copy of our parents,
but want to become something of ourselves.

As kids, we are taught to obey our parents in everything.
As teens, we sometimes disagree so how do we do this repectfully?

Here are some tips:

Wait.
I know, it’s the last thing we want to do.
We want our opinion to be known now…
before we forget!
Take a deep breath…
a good mark of a wise teen (and adult!) is to wait until our response is not pure emotion.

**Warning: This is NOT easy. I still struggle with this!!!!!**

Pray.
This is a great time to ask God for wisdom in this situation.
Some patience as well.
Sometimes, adults are used to just telling you what to do.
They still look at you as if you are a five year old who needs to hold someone’s hand when they cross the street.
Parents are not (usually) trying to be cruel.

Formulate your disagreement.
What exactly are you arguing about?
Your parents not letting you dye your hair purple?
Or your parents not letting you make your own decisions?
Are you being rebellious because of a deeper problem?
Truly look at whether you are just reacting for attention.

Approach with love.
This can also be challenging…
but just imagine, for a moment that your mom/dad are humans.
Made in God’s image with feelings just like your own.
Got that in your head?
OK.
Now approach.

If all else fails…
sometimes, parents can’t see your side.
They truly believe that what they are doing is best for you.
If it is not time sensitive then perhaps pray some more,
or let it sit for awhile.

If it has implications on your future,
such as in Clipston’s novel,
then consider asking a wise adult if you are overreacting,
or for advice on how to deal with the situation.
Perhaps even ask them to be a mediator as you try to work things out.

**If it is ever DANGEROUS then please go to an adult you trust!!!**

I wrote these points for teens,
but I’ll let you in on a little secret…
adults struggle with the same issues.
Even as we become spouses and parents,
we sometimes forget that our parents deserve our respect,
especially when we disagree.

Hey, drop me a line. 🙂 Is there a point in this process that you still struggle with? 
Or is there a situation you would like me to pray for?
Leave a comment below or feel free to email me privately: tracking(dot)truth(dot)kdb(at)gmail(dot)com.

Karen deBlieck

Karen deBlieck

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2 thoughts on “Respect in a Time of Change

  1. I’m in my 30s, married over 10 years, and I STILL call my parents for advice on a regular basis. 🙂

    Like

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